You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

[Verse 1]
You're the reason I'm ridin' around on recapped tires
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

[Verse 2]
Well, you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

[Bridge]
I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed

[Verse 3]
And that's the reason that my good looks and my figure is gone
And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Ah, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

[Outro]
Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave
And put on a clean pair of pants?
Well, Loretta, look at yourself
I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair and
And go put on a little makeup and
And get out of that housecoat before supper
Ha, well let me tell you somethin', Conway
Considerin' everything that I went through today, I look like a movie star
Yeah, Ruth Buzzi
Thank you
Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of the family anyway
Oh, they did, huh?
What about the one's that's bald?
Well, I guess you might say they took after me