You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch

[WILL]
All the windows were dark. No one knew he was there
All the who's were all dreaming sweet dreams without care

[k.d. lang]
You're a mean one Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

[WILL]
All I need is a reindeer!
So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyup!" and the sleigh started down
To the homes where the Who's lay a-snooze in their town
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed
As she climbed to the roof, empty bags in her fist
Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
Then he slithered and slunked, with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room, and took every present
Pop-guns ! Pompo-nuts! And cookies! And Drums!
Checkerboards! Mistle-beens! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney

[k.d. lang]
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch!

[WILL]
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote
"Stink, stank

[k.d. lang & WILL]
Stunk!"
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseous super naus

[WILL (& k.d. lang)]
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you (Drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch!)
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich (With arsenic sauce!)