You Need a Thneed

Everybody needs a Thneed
A fine thing that all people need
The Thneed is good
The Thneed is great
And it's just $3.98

Everybody needs a Thneed
It's revolutionary guaranteed!
The Thneed is new
The Thneed is nice
And did you see that price?

Since the glorious dawn of man
There's never been a thing to do what this thing can
So listen carefully To all the wondrous things a Thneed can be

It's a sock, it's a suit
Boxing glove, parachute
A butterfly net, reusable diaper
An exercise belt, a runny nose wiper
A slingshot, a muzzle, a jump rope, a hat
A colorful sweater you put on your cat
Nothing else in this world can do that
Old or young, tall or short, thin or fat
Republican, independent, libertarian or democrat