You Need a Friend

Black teared desolation with my head held in my hands
Broken heart inside my chest, a sadness in my pants
And I'm calmly contemplating kissing this cruel world goodbye
When I felt a certain reassuring hand upon my thigh
He said "How ya doing mate"
I can tell you're feeling blue
I'm gonna help you out coz I know I was once like you
And I've suffered bleak emotions friend
You've got nothing to fear
Strapping up my arm as he whispered in my ear

You need some relaxation, some rest and recuperation
For fixing up the aching without love
You need someone to understand
Touch your heart and hold your hand
You need a friend, and a lot of drugs

"Now you're feeling better
Could you do something for me?
Tape this package to your leg, make a delivery
Come on swallow these balloons and get on the next flight
Try not to use the toilet till you reach the other side"

And get some relaxation, some rest and recuperation
For fixing up the aching without love
You need someone to understand
Touch your heart and hold your hand
You need a friend, and a bunch of drugs
And customs love, for all the things that
I've been dreaming of a friendly hug, and a rubber glove
And a little bit of cash for the Indonesian judge