You Must Be Cool

[INTRO]
Yeah
You see me yeah?
There's nothing flashy about me
I'll tell you that for nothing
But you
YOU
Don't get me started
Because you
You

[Chorus]
You must be cool (coooool)
Doing all the things that I'd never do
Like to hell with the rules
Like yelling fuck school
You've got more drugs than drug mules
Also your jeans look uncomfortable
You are cooooooooool (cooool)
Generation Y staying high but never saying "hi"
As that would constitute a major waste of time
That could of been better spent
Getting baked inside playing games online

[VERSE 1]
Ones I can't work the buttons for
They make me feel as out of touch as Dumbledore
Ones where you run around gutting whores with a rusty sword
To get the money for some drugs you bought
Meanwhile in real life
The drugs you bought have all been cut with chalk
They make your eyes swell up like rugby balls
And your jaw can now touch the floor
It doesn't look fun at all
When I was young I liked Ice Cube and Ice-T
They seemed like some pretty tough guys in the 90s
Your favorite rapper stabbed his mum
And his dad was an actual gun
What's that about?!
His record label is Disney
These days you can probably get his face on a Frisbee
That face is the face of a L'Oreal Ad campaign
No one thinks that's insane?
Your favorite color is lilac
You buy hats you designed on your iPad
I despise that
I tried that and the site crashed
You make me feel like my dad
You turned up to the club in a plum Kagool
I thought you looked such a fool
Soon enough you were covered in drool
And you left with 100 numbers
Fuck

[Chorus]
You must be cool (coooool)
Doing all the things that I'd never do
Like to hell with the rules
Like yelling fuck school
You've got more drugs than drug mules
Also your jeans look uncomfortable
You are cooooooooool (cooool)
Generation Y staying high but never saying "hi"
As that would constitute a major waste of time
That could of been better spent
Getting baked inside playing games online

[VERSE 2]
Ones that involve sensory pads
Society is ready to collapse
Pretty much everything is taxed
As far back as I can remember
It's never been as bad
Yeah but forget about that
What's the next big must have fad?
Is it denim is it plaid?
We need to find out right now
And not so that we can buy it
So we're never seen dead in that tat
Hashtag MadSwag (Swag)
Remember when swag meant bad?
Well swag is back and now swag is bad
But not bad meaning bad it's a tad more abstract than that
Wear your granddad's glad rags
And write a blog that is practically Trashbat
Cause if you can manage that while growing a rat 'tache
And never get called an anorak

[Chorus]
Then you are cool (coooool)
Doing all the things that I'd never do
Like to hell with the rules
Like yelling fuck school
You've got more drugs than drug mules
Also your jeans look uncomfortable
You are cooooooooool (cooool)
Generation Y staying high but never saying "hi"
As that would constitute a major waste of time
That could of been better spent
Getting baked inside playing games online

[VERSE 3]
Like Duck Hunt and Alex Kid
But in an ironic way
Everyday's a holiday
Your top looks proper gay
But you are not a gay
What's on your pizza?
Bolognese? For fuck's sake
Now you've got a beard
I've had a beard for years
Now it's like you've gone
"Well I've got a proper beard"
What do you want? A chocolate medal?
I am not a chocolatier
You're a chocolatier

[OUTRO]
I like Pete's new beat
I like drinks kinda fruity
I would like some fruit tea
Not normal tea, it's not normal see
This time I'm nice
I be higher than a microlite
Euuuh
Maybe I don't like to drink
But a pint's alright
Just one not two
Because I am not you
If you think that I am going to that house party across the road
It's not true
I'd rather go home and watch Archer
Because I've turned into my father