You Can’t Trust a Man

[HUGO]
[spoken]
Look at him go!
I'd hate to let him get too far ahead...

[CONSTABLE JOE]
Well, a fella dressed in yellow isn't gonna be too hard to track

[HUGO]
Sure isn't a nice yellow

[CONSTABLE JOE]
Hugo
There's no such thing as nice yellow
I don't know, Hugo, I gotta bad feeling it's all gonna come apart like...wet bread
[sung]
You can't trust a man dressed in yellow
Hugo
Only a rogue wears that hue
A man who is fondest
Of suits that are jaundiced
Puts the yolk on him
And the joke
On you
They're tricksy
All men dressed in yellow
Something deadly in their livelihood
He must be compensating

[HUGO]
Also fabricating

[CONSTABLE JOE]
[laughs]
Hugo
There you go again!
"Fabric hating"
If he hated the fabric he would have never bought the suit
[sung]
He must be compensating

[HUGO]
Also
Lying

[BOTH]
'Bout why he wants the Foster's wood

[CONSTABLE JOE]
Oh you can't trust a man dressed in yellow
That I knew from his very first "hello"
I should have locked him in a cell

[BOTH]
Oh, you can't trust a man-

[HUGO]
From the carnival!

[CONSTABLE JOE]
Also
Carnival men can't be trusted
Something wicked there brews underneath
Those inbreds' regale ya
With mad Bacchanalia
They all share, maybe, eight teeth
I say
Carnival men can't be trusted!
Flashy hobos, invading our towns
They ask my permission
To charge an admission
To expose us to Charlatans, acrobats and-
[stuttering]
C-c-c-

[HUGO]
[spoken]
Clowns, sir?

[CONSTABLE JOE]
[exhales deeply]
I hate them
[sung]
Carnival men can't be trusted!
They're all acutely maladjusted
Who knows how their funnel cake is dusted

[BOTH]
No you can't trust a man-

[HUGO]
With a bad handshake!

[CONSTABLE JOE]
Did you notice his peculiar handshake?
His fingers neither flaccid nor firm

[HUGO]
Like touching a porpoise

[CONSTABLE JOE]
No habeas corpus
Can keep that fish

[HUGO]
[spoken]
Mammal

[CONSTABLE JOE]
From serving full term
Bad handshake, bad man

[BOTH]
Watch it if his grip lacks a squeeze

[CONSTABLE JOE]
And a carnival man can't be trusted

[HUGO]
As shifty as a swinging trapeze

[BOTH]
And you can't trust a man dressed in yellow!
Even if you love cheddar cheese
Commingle all of these
You'll see the recipe's
One bad man
One bad man
One bad man

[CONSTABLE JOE]
[spoken]
Come along, Hugo
Let's pick up the pace