You Can Have Him

[Verse 1]
You can have him, I don't want him
He's not worth fighting for
Besides, there're plenty more where he came from
You can have him, I don't want him
I'm giving him the sack
And he can go right back where he came from

[Bridge]
I could never make him happy
He'd be better off with you
I'm afraid I never loved him
All I ever wanted to do was

[Verse 2]
Run my fingers through his curly locks
I'd even mend his underwear and iron his socks
Bring his slippers and remove his shoes
Wipe his glasses when he's read the news
Rub his forehead with a gentle touch
Mornings after when he's had a little too much
Kiss him gently when he cuddles near
And give him babies one for every year
So, you see
You can have him, I don't want him
I don't want him, you can have him
For he's not the man for me

[Bridge]
I would look a trifle silly
Taking him away from you
That was never my intention
All I ever wanted to do was

[Verse 3]
Close the window while he soundly slept
And then I'd raid the icebox where the food is kept
And I'd fix a breakfast that would please him most
Ham and eggs and coffee, and he's fond of apple butter on toast
I'd wake him gently with a breakfast tray
After breakfast I'd clear the things away
Then I'd get the newspapers and when they've been read
We'd spend the balance of the day in bed

[Outro]
So you see
You can have him, I don't want him
If you can get him, you can have him
For he's not, no, he's not the man for me