​xiphinema

[Spoken Word: Craig Xen]
Maybe it's that I believe that subconsciously I'm not worthy
Or deserving of being happy
But for a long time I've not wanted to be here
And there's nothing that I can do to leave here faster
I can't kill myself, I can't
It's not that I don't want to
It's that I absolutely cannot kill myself
I've tried multiple times, numerous times
And I cannot die, I won't fucking die
Some of me thinks, I live to die, and I want to die
Because I want the pain to stop
The medication doesn't help
The psychiatrists and therapists, they don't help
None of it helps
None of it helps