Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
Jon Lajoie
[Intro: MC Confusing]
Other rappers are comprehensible, not me
First on the mic, MC Confusing
[Verse 1: MC Confusing]
I took a piss on my nut sack and called it Jack Black
It's a fact, I got more rhymes than Zack Braff taking a nap
I attack motherfuckers wearing purple backpacks
And I snack on towel racks and take a shit on your track
Yeah, you're wack cause everybody understands what you say
But when I get on the mic, I make milk out of clay
And I play air guitar with a tube of toothpaste
And I say, "Karate pencil case" and put it on tape
[Verse 2: MC Insecure]
Yo, I'm MC Insecure, what's up
I really don't think that I'm good enough
To be rhyming on this track cause my lyrics suck
All my verses fall flat like a hockey puck
It took me seven months to write the first part of my verse
And now I got nothing left, so I'll pretend that I got hurt
Ow! I think I sprained my ankle. You guys just go ahead and finish the song without me
[Verse 3: MC Amnesia]
Yo, MC Amnesia up in this, bitch
Woke up five days ago lying in a ditch
Didn't know who I was, I couldn't remember shit
Apparently something happened that was traumatic
I used to have more rhymes, but I can't remember them
Seriously, I'm freaking out, I can't remember anything
What my motherfucking name
Seriously, does anyone know what my name is
[Verse 4: MC Public Urination]
Yo, I'm MC Public Urination, what what
I'll take a fucking piss on the fucking sidewalk
Anytime, anyplace I just whip out my cock
And empty my bladder while you motherfuckers watch
You other emcees can't handle this shit
You're just a little bitch afraid to pee in public
You run into a toilet every time you have to piss
Yo, fuck that shit, I just whip out my dick
[Verse 5: MC Fatigue]
Yo, MC Fatigue, yeah that's me
Every time I grab the mic, I fucking fall asleep
Zzzzzzzzzzz.....
[Hook: Chorus Guy]
I'm the guy who sings the chorus (It breaks up the song)
My part is kind of boring (I wish that I could go home)
But they're paying me to sing the chorus (And I really need the cash)
Cause I'm unemployed at the moment (Just moved back in with my dad)
[Verse 6: MC Doesn't Know What Irony is]
Yo, I'm MC Doesn't Know What Irony is
Walked up to a girl, and I gave her a kiss
She said, "Let's go to your place; I'll suck your dick."
I said, "Hell yeah, bitch, that's so ironic!"
[Verse 7: MC Gets Side-Tracked Easily]
Yo, I'm MC Gets Side-Tracked Easily
My rhymes are badass like Gandolfini
You know, he's known for The Sopranos, but he's also in movies
Like Get Shorty and Terminal Velocity
Which I really didn't like because I don't like Charlie Sheen
Well, I guess in Hot Shots he was kind of funny
But I prefer Leslie Nielsen in The Naked Gun
You know who else was in that movie? OJ Simpson
Which is kind of weird, knowing what he did after that
Wait, what was I saying? I think I got sidetracked
[Verse 8: MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2, & 3]
Yo, I'm MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2, & 3
I really liked those movies, but the fourth disappointed me
Danny Glover, Mel Gibson, and Joe Pesci
Why did they have to make a four? They had a perfect trilogy
[Verse 9: MC Lethal Weapon 4]
MC Lethal Weapon 4, that's me
I disagree with MC Lethal Weapon 1, 2, & 3
Though I agree that it is a groundbreaking trilogy
The four was also good; they added Chris Rock and Jet Li
[Verse 10: MC Shit My Pants Frequently]
Yo, I'm MC Shit My Pants Frequently
It usually happens when I'm walking down the street
Or when I'm hanging out with some fly ass hoes
There we go! Thank God I brought a change of clothes
[Verse 11: MC Final Verse]
Yo, I'm the emcee with the final verse
I'm supposed to sum up everything you heard
But motherfuckers, I don't really have the time
So fuck that, and come back to the chorus guy
[Hook: Chorus Guy]
I'm still singing the chorus (Thank God we're almost done)
I hate singing the chorus (It's such a boring fucking job)
I'm gonna take my 40 bucks (That's what they're paying me)
And I'm gonna go get really drunk (Masturbate, then go to sleep)
[Outro: Everyone]
MC Amnesia: Wait a minute...I remember what happened now! You guys raped me!
Everyone: Uh, yeah, we did. We raped you
MC Amnesia: Wha--no wonder I couldn't remember anything, you...I thought you guys were my friends. That is not cool!
MC Doesn't Know What Irony is: No, it's ironic!
MC Amnesia: No, no, it's not ironic. I don't think you understand. Dude, could you stop peeing while I'm talking? And what the fuck is that...did someone shit their pants?
MC Shit My Pants Frequently: Yep!
Jon Lajoie released WTF Collective on Mon Nov 15 2010.