Wives and Drones

[Intro]

Alright, let's get back on that flow
Yo

[Verse 1]

It’s a book about gaining back all that I’ve lost
By speaking the truth at risk of ultimate cost
It’s a book about finding the courage to go against the grain
When everyone thought I was insane
It’s a book about mentorship in which I’ve often had a lack
It’s a book about taking drugs and snorting crack
It’s a book about the time I saw Donald Duck in a tree
As he was staring right back at me
It’s a book about conquering Hollywood from my room
And using life’s lessons to elude impending doom
Impending doom, doom
It’s a book about telling a robot girl I wanted to fuck her in the ass
After I drank a 40 and took a hit off the glass
It’s a legend about the Free Soul Kazooer
And an account of when I chose to eat my own manure
It’s a book about bеing studied in a zoo
It’s a book about me and a book about you

(Chortle x2)

[Verse 2]

It’s a book about my tеnure as a trans-dimensional shaman
And my encounters with so many different lawmen
It’s a book about the time I ran a business in the clink
A book that will make you think
A book about everything that’s true in my life
Of how I told my brother I’d bang his wife
A book that says “A book about” too many times
The funny thing being, I can still make that rhyme
It’s a book about making several women swoon
It’s a book about how I fell in love inside the padded room
About high-speed chases and works of art
Making love to Lady Gaga on a jet, where do I start?
90-mile-per-hour car crashes and accruing debt
About achieving dreams I thought I’d never get
It’s a book about battling bipolar disorder
And a book about riding that rollercoaster
A book about Eminem and Jay Z
It’s a book about them collaborating with no one but me

[Verse 3]

It’s a book about Katy Perry and I driving too fast
And one that’s about Ellie Goulding and I getting a blast
Of holy fire, while being baptized with the Holy Spirit
A book about how I learned to embrace death and not fear it
About how I learned to accept eternity and the uncountable blessings that God has bestowed upon me
It’s a book about reverends skipping prayer meetings to watch sports
About exorcising demons at a resort
About telling Mormon Elders I was a time-traveling prophet and how they couldn't stop it
It’s a book about expanding all of our minds
And about how I reached nirvana, the pinnacle of sublime, dancing in my underwear down the street pushing through the darkest of defeats
About marrying the person I believed was the girl of my dreams to lose her to the obscene and have her end up hating me
Hating me
Hating me

[Verse 4]

It’s a book about how I realized I was a local Lynnwood legend
And how I caught a first-hand glimpse of Heaven
About how I died and came back to life and another about time
I almost died in flight
It’s a book about learning to be a dad when I never had one
It’s a book about how I played the game of life and won
It’s a book about the time I witnessed an alien invasion with my friends
And during the four-and-a-half months I ruled the nation
Period in which I ruled the nation
Fuck this, damn it I messed it up again
But it's just me, so I'm gonna be free and keep it recorded
It’s a book about the time I lived inside a heatless, empty home and spied on my ex-wife using a drone

[Outro]

(Laughs)

That's just a joke. I didn't do that