RUTH
When Fred'ric was a little lad
He proved so dear, yet daring
His father though he'd apprentice him to a bold career sea-faring
But was Fred's curse to have me for a nurse
And thus, it fell to my lot
For me to see that this bouncing boy
Was apprenticed to a pi-lot
A life not bad for a hearty lad
But woe is me and why not
Though I'm a nurse
I did much worse than make our Fred a Pilot
PIRATES
She's had one verse
To well disperse
Our friend should be a pi-lot
RUTH
I had I fear
A faulty ear
Onto the rocks was steering
I misconstrued my assignment Shrewd
Cause I was hard of hearing
Yes I mistook and then misundertook
The task that lay on my plate
And woe is me our poor Fred found he
Apprenticed to a pi-rate
A sad mistake it was to make
And tie him to you vile lot
I bound him to your motley crew
Instead of to a pi-lot
PIRATES
The sentence grim
Apprentice him
To us who teach him fire
RUTH
I'm preaching to the choir
PIRATES
Let's reach a half step higher
RUTH
I soon found out
Beyond all doubt
The scope of this disaster
But I could not face
Nor my steps retrace
To break it to my master
But now your ruth must share all of the truth
Although the worst of all these
I set my mind to become a kind of pirate Jill of all trades
And that is how you find me now
A member of your sly lot
Which wouldn't have found
PIRATES
As you well expound
RUTH
Had he not been bound
PIRATES
He's been run aground
RUTH
It's bad, I can't deny it
PIRATES
This lad should be...
RUTH
To bad he'll be...
PIRATES
It's bad he'll be...
RUTH
So sad he'll be...
Be... be, be, be be... hm...
C! C, C, C, C...
C sharp!
To bad he'll be...
A pirate! (Pirate!)
When Fred’ric Was a Little Lad was written by Gilbert and Sullivan & Rupert Holmes.
When Fred’ric Was a Little Lad was produced by Michael Croiter.
Jinkx-monsoon released When Fred’ric Was a Little Lad on Fri Oct 17 2025.