What’s the Use?

[OLD LADY]
I have always been wily and clever
At deceiving and swindling and such
And I feel just as clever as ever
But I seem to be losing my touch
Oh, I'm losing my touch

Yes, I'm clever, but what does it get me?
My employer gets all of my take
All I get is my daily spaghetti
While he gorges on truffles and cake

What's the use? What's the use?
There's no profit in cheating
It's all so defeating
And wrong, oh so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!

[FERONE]
That old hag is no use in this gyp joint
Not a sou have I made on her yet
And the one thing that pays in this clip joint
Is my fraudulent game of roulette
Is my game of roulette

But I have to pay so much protection
To the chief of police and his men
That each day when he makes his collection
I'm a poor man all over again

[OLD LADY & FERONE]
What's the use? What's the use?
Of dishonest endeavor
And being so clever?
It's wrong, oh so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!

[PREFECT OF POLICE]
It's a very fine thing to be prefect
Shaking down all the gamblers in town
My position has only one defect
There is someone who's shaking me down
Who is shaking me down

For this fellow unhappily knows me
And he's on to the game that I play
And he threatens to shame and expose me
If I do not incessantly pay

[OLD LADY, FERONE & PREFECT OF POLICE]
What's the use? What's the use?
Of this sneaky conniving
And slimy contriving
It's wrong, oh so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!

[IVAN]
I could live very well by extortion
But I simply can't keep what I earn
For I haven't a sense of proportion
And roulette is my only concern
Is my only concern

I've a system that's fiendishly clever
Which I learned from a croupier friend
And I should go on winning forever
But I do seem to lose in the end

[OLD LADY, FERONE, PREFECT OF POLICE & IVAN]
What's the use? What's the use?

[OLD LADY]
Of this cheating and plotting
You end up with nothing

[OLD LADY, FERONE, PREFECT OF POLICE & IVAN]
It's wrong, oh so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!

[ENSEMBLE]
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it along, pass it along
Pass it, pass it, pass it, pass it

[ALL]
Oh, what's the use? What's the use?
What's the use? What's the use?
There's no profit in cheating
It's all so defeating
And wrong, it's so wrong
Oh, so wrong, oh, so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!