What’s Big In England Now?

O.K.,
So I'm standing on the lip of a volcano in Bali
Kramer is there and we're shooting the new Bongwater video and an old style ambulance pulls up and...
What? Can you get that? Get that!

Anyway
Out steps that ageing, pudgy editor from Rolling Stone and he hands me that... oh what? You know... a Pucci! Pucci tie-dyed unitard?
And I went, "Aw, come on, no more camp!"
I sob, "I hate it!"

Anyway
We make our way into the valley below and the scenery is spectacular
It's like a painting right out of the Hudson Valley River School and I am awestruck
There's a bar at the top of the next peak but, you know, I don't to drink
"Come on! Come on!" someone's cajoling
"It's Grappa!"

And I think, "Wait a minute, isn't that the drink the Portuguese guzzle by the truckload?"
What? No! Stop that!
Let sparky out! Let him out! Get out!
All of you, out!

Anyway
I drive the car down the mountain road and it's so icy... so icy
But, you know, I get back home and in the loft I find Lenny Kravitz sitting cross-legged on the parquet floor reading the latest issue of NME
He's wearing this transparent skullhood over his head which I find more than a little creepy

Anyway
I ask him, "What's big in England now?"
"Hmmmm..." he replies, still reading the paper
"Mushy peas"

"Aw, come on! I know that!", I sigh with petulant exasperation
"That's yesterday! I mean, what's really new? What's tomorrow? What's going on? What's happening? I mean.... agh!"

He doesn't answer so I just engage in some codependent, twelve-step jargon jibber jabber with some of my old friends from AA