What I Want Is A Proper Cup Of Coffee (Live)

It’s now time to perk up, folks, with a song about coffee. This next song is the history of the world as seen through the proper cup of coffee — it is also a sing-a-long. What we need for you to do is listen to the chorus the first time and then sing it with a [?], and every subsequent time after that

A sultan sat on his Oriental mat
In his harem in downtown Persia
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip and he said to his servant Kersia
Aw, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya
That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia ‘cause

Okay, if you don’t know the words, listen up, ‘cause this is the part we want you all to sing properly

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot
I'll have a cup of tea

Have you got it?

In days of old when knights and men were bold
And whiskey was much cheaper
Ben Turpin rode to a coffee shop and showed his pistols to the keeper
He said, stand and deliver
Can't you see I'm all a quiver ‘cause

Help us out, now!

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot
I'll have a cup of tea

When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart
And he lost that Waterloo fight
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord, and he said
Those British can't half fight
Now that you've had your Waterloo, sir
Tell what am I having with you sir ‘cause

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot
I'll have a cup of tea

Well, we really didn’t expect you to sing with that last part, since it was entirely in French. This is, however, your last chance to sing along with Trout, and quite possibly the most exciting part of the whole song

Now, King Solomon and his Queen would carry on
So we heard in the ancient scandals
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots
With diamond legs and handles
And said the Queen of Sheba
I'd rather have any old tea bag ‘cause

Okay, sing it by yourselves!

A lot of people are doing good, Ezra, but many of them are faking it

It’s a lot easier to fake it, folks, if you do it faster and clap your hands at the same time

Let’s go!

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot

Faster, now!

All I want is a proper cup of coffee
Made in a proper, copper coffee pot
I may be off my dot
But I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me
[Unintelligible]

Perfect!