What have the Romans ever done for us?

The Romans are all bastards,
they have bled us 'till we're white,
they've taken everything we've got
as if it was their right,
and we've got nothing in return
though they make so much fuss,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

What have the Romans,
what have the Romans,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

The aqueduct.
What?
...they, they gave us the aqueduct...

Yes, they did give us that, that's true
And sanitation Yes, that too
The aqueduct I'll grant is one
thing the Romans may have done
And the roads, now they're all new
And the great wines too

Well, apart from the wines and fermentation,
And the canals for navigation
Public health for all the nation
Apart from those, which are a plus,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

What have the Romans,
what have the Romans,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

The baths.
What?
...the public baths...
Oh, yes, yes...

The public baths are a great delight,
and it's safe to walk in the streets at night.
Cheese and medicine, irrigation,
Roman law and education
the circus for our delectation
and the gladiation

Well, apart from medicine, irrigation,
health, roads, cheese and education,
baths and the Circus Maximus,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

What have the Romans,
what have the Romans,
what have the Romans ever done for us?

Brought peace.
Oh, shut up!