What Am I?

I woke up this morning just to see what I'd become
Oh, what am I? Oh, what am I?
Looked up at my reflection told it, "get off my thumb!"
Oh, what am I?

"Hi: I'm a fly
A big nasty hairy fucker
Wiping shit off my legs right now."

"Well, the initial shock won't last long"
Said the doctor as he looked me in the eyes
"And the ensuing disgust with everything
And self loathing will just be a part of your new disguise"
What am I? What am I?
What am I? What am I?

I walked into space or maybe well, well, well below
I saw into the past when life was but a gas
Waving at the astronauts I was cracking my meat, taking the heat
They said, "be all you can be"
And exactly what is that?
What am I?
I'm a racehorse on a golf course
I'm a priest with a lug wrench
Can tighten the harness
Snug as a wigwam
Quick as a whistle
Soft as a pom pom, I don't know

You know, life is what you build
And how much time that you can cram
Point me in the right direction, tell me what I am

What am I?
Yeah, what am I?
What am I?
What am I?
What am I?
What am I?
What am I?
What am I?
Yeah, what am I?
Hey, what am I?
What am I?
What am I? What am I? What am I?
What am I? What am I?
What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I?
What am I?
What am I? What am I?
What am I? What am I? What am I?
What am I? What am I? What am I?