West Texas Waltz

[Verse 1]
When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin'
Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car
Drive right on down to the bright side of town
You'll be glad you don't have to drive far
You'll be happy you don't have to go far

[Refrain]
Park your pick-ups and Cadillacs and Fords and Renaults
Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

[Verse 2]
My pickup needs a tune-up
I better get up and make up my mind to get on it today
The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up
But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway
I'll be dancin' tonight anyway

[Refrain]
'Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults
I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

[Verse 3]
Well I found a young cow-dog
An' I told him: "Now, now dog
"You're a borderline Collie and I'm a borderline fool"
But he had some bad habits
He was scared of jack rabbits
I sent him off to canine school
I think they call it obedience school

[Refrain]
But when he came back, he couldn't tell a cow from a horse
But he could dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

[Verse 4]
Grandmammy, grandpappy, if you wanna stay happy
Better lace up your best dancin' shoes
Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis
Just by dancin' away your blues
Now just by dancin' away your blues

[Refrain]
So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze
And come dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz
Oh yeah

[Pedal Steel Guitar Break]

[Verse 4]
I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her
For the credit she gave me made me shout
She changed my whole attitude
And to show her my gratitude
I decided I'd just ask her out
Yeah, I thought I just might ask her out

[Refrain]
I said close up your windows, and lock up your vaults
And lets go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

[Verse 5]
We spent next to last dollar in the old ice cream parlor
On a milkshake and a malt and a pop
And then we heard us some sounds, was a honky tonk lounge
Right next to the ice cream shop
Next door to the ice cream shop

[Refrain]
Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts
And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

[Verse 6]
And the other is somethin' but really is nothin'
To speak of, it's somethin' to do
If you've done it before, you'll be doin' it some more
Just as soon as the dancin' is through
Right after the dancin' is through

[Refrain]
And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because
You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz