West Texas Waltz

When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin'
Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car
Drive right on down to the bright lights of town
You'll be glad you don't have to drive far
You'll be happy you don't have to go far

Park your pickups and Caddilacs, Fords and Renaults
Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

My pickup needs a tune-up, I better get up and make up
My mind to get on it today
The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up
But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway
I'll go dancin' tonight anyway

Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults
I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

Grandmammy, grandpappy if you plan to stay happy
You better lace up your best dancin shoes
Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis
Just by dancin' away your blues
Dancin' away your blues

So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze
Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

I took my baby after dark to the old baseball park
And we sat in the center field stands
I asked her, "How many outs?" She said, "I've got my doubts
But you can count 'em on one of your hands."
I said, "Baby, I've got much better plans."

"I'll kiss you on the strikes, you kiss me on the balls
And we'll go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz!"

I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her
For the credit she gave me made me shout
She changed my whole attitude and to show her a little gratitude
I decided I'd just ask her out
Yes I thought I just might ask her out

I said close up your windows, honey, lock up your vaults
Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

We spent the next to the last dollar at the old ice cream parlor
On a milkshake and a malt and a pop
Then we heard us some sounds, there was a honky tonk lounge
Next door to the ice cream shop
Next door to the ice cream shop

Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts
And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz

And the other is somethin', but really it's nothin'
To speak of it's somethin' to do
If you've done it before, you'll be doin' it some more
Just as soon as the dancin' is through
Right after the dancin' is through

And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because
You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz