Welcome to the Theatre

[MARGO]
Welcome to the theatre
To the magic, to the fun
Where painted trees and flowers grow
And laughter rings fortissimo
And treachery's neatly done
Now you've entered the asylum
This profession unique
Actors are children playing hide-and-ego-seek

So welcome, Miss Eve Harrington
To this business we call show
You're on your way to wealth and fame
Unsheathe your claws, enjoy the game
You'll be a witch but they'll know your name
From New York to Kokomo
Welcome to the theatre
My dear, you'll love it so!

Welcome to the dirty concrete hallways
Welcome to the friendly roaches, too
Welcome to the pinches from the stagehands;
It's the only quite thing they do!
Welcome to Philadelphia critics
Welcome to Librium and Nembutal
Welcome to a life of laryngitis
Welcome to dark toilets in the hall

Welcome to the flop you thought would run for years
Welcome to the world of fears and cheers and tears

Welcome to the theatre
With some luck you'll be a pro
You'll work and slave and scratch and bite
You'll learn to kill with sheer delight
You'll only come alive at night
When you're in a show

Welcome, to the theatre
You fool, you'll love it so!