Walking Home Monday

[Intro: Violent J]
"This is a story of a working man's adventure just gettin' home Every neighborhood ain't the same out here in the US of A
Hell naw"

[Verse 1: Violent J & Str8jaket]
I called my homie Matt fat, 'cause he's fat and I'm happy
I'm off at six, he said, you're fat, too, exactly
And bro don't step to that skank, that stank Rosemary
Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't? Her nose hairy
Plus, like I said, she's blowin' Jerry the cook
The skeezer does him in the freezer, when he's there next we'll both look
I'm all about her anyway! That's your biz, dude
But if she forgets to shower, his jizz is your lube

[Verse 2: Violent J & Sugar Slam]
[Matt a friend?], we always battlin', I called him fat again and jetted
Cuttin' through the parking lot, I heard, where you headed?
That voice registered in my brain, it's Beth
The finest thing I knew in the seventh grade, bitch
But now she has an insane case of death breath
The sickest thing I ever blew, so I pepper sprayed, bitch
Now Beth is not the same because of rock cocaine
And now she got no brain, she follows cock for change

[Verse 3: Violent J & Tierre Diaz]
Just then here comes Happy, once a no-doubt pimp
Now just a beat-down slapped-up smoked-out wimp
Excuse me, J, one moment, if you don't mind, please
Did you just Mace Beth in the face? Yup
Damn, that's my bitch, is she okay? I hope not! Right
That's my money and shit but it's alright, we tight
It's dog-eat-dog on these streets of the ghetto zone
Every day I face a new adventure, just walkin' home

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right

[Verse 4: Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope]
I made a left on [Russell?], bust a right on [Tool?]
I hear the heavy metal, see the rusty blue van, not this fool
Old head banger, seed weed slanger, brown bud
They call him Dirt, he slangs dollar work half mud
J, dude, where you goin' bromie? Damn, jump in
You don't wanna talk by the park, man, it's bumpin' with trouble
Double Southwest slang, how clever
Take the words brother and homie and throw 'em together
Bromie, man, are you sure? Yeah, dude, slide in
The Murder Rats up there, only fools collide with them
Then it's settled, jammin' metal, hit the middle of the park
His van backfired, smoke, retired, and won't start
That attracted the Rats, the pack heads over intrigued
What now? Dirt? Dirt? He already fleed
And took his seed weed, wow, now I need to react
I peeped the back, steel scraps, ten speed, wheels flat
I'll have to fuck with that, and so I bust a strap
And then I plucked it stat, and then I jumped on back
Thunder jetted out racin' pedalin' for home
Rubber shreds punk chasin' metal rims on stone
One thug kept up with me but he's gaspin' for air
Hopped off the bike in action, where it crash? Don't care
The knife stashed in my gear, I mashed in his ear
The better chance I'll arrive at home alive the faster I get there

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right

[Verse 5: Violent J & Blahzay Roze]
It's a much shorter route to cut through the Copeland Projects
Maybe I shoulda, nah, 'cause I'd be dead if I woulda
And you'd never get this recordin'
Instead it'd sound like *snore* borin'
Now I'm back on Wickfur Road, hang a right on Pineview
Home of Blowzanna Rozanna, that ho is a dime, too
In fact her titties so fat you can see 'em from behind boo
But mind you, they say she got more scabies than the swine flu
But soon as she appears and waves and says, Come here, J!
All that herpes shit becomes hearsay if I dare say
Still I'm scared to stay, I tear away frontin' like I can't hear right
Hey! I know! Where you goin'! Last night!

[Verse 6: Violent J & Jumpsteady]
Finally, when all was well on my block
I hear, my name's Rico, you got that fifty spot?
What fifty spot, bromie? The fifty spot you owe me! Baloney
Try to ho me? Your boy Tony owe me fifty which he told me you'd throw me
Tony's a phony homie and don't even know me, yo
So tell him to blow me, son, and he ain't the only one
Oh, me? Leave me lonely, now Rico was boney
But he packed a gat and showed me and swore, I'll be back with my bromies
All I wanted was a batch of macaroni
Grabbed a six-pack, went in through the back, I'm home free
Fucked up dinner, burp, stretch, poop, yawn, then I'm gone
I work tomorrow then begin a new adventure, just walkin' home

[Chorus: Shaggy 2 Dope & Violent J]
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right
Off work and I'm walking home, on a typical Monday night
And I'm wonderin' will I survive? 'Cause my hood ain't right

[Outro: Violent J]
"Oh don't think part Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday ain't comin' next, motherfucker. After all, a ninja gots to work all week long and has to walk home every night."