Vows

This folding chair′s uncomfortable
This flat beer is undrinkable
And I could think of ninety seven places I'd rather be

Rumor around this town is that high-wasted wedding gown
Is hot in month two, or month three

It was either gonna be
A shotgun wedding or a shotgun
You can′t outrun your daddy

I'll give you a year-supply of cigarettes
If they make it past Labor Day
And I just saw the groom makin' out with the bridesmaid
If she′s still got a ring by Halloween
I′ll throw in a case of Crown
This Bless of Union is doomed to go down
Yeah, we're all taking bets
While they′re saying vows

I guess what happens one drunk night
It can turn into a new life
Trailer made for Jerry's spring-air episode

He spit in depth in a wine glass
Staring at her momma′s ass
While the bride's praying at their secret don′t-show

And her best friend in the pink dress
Got a new hickie on her neck
And we're all thinking how the heck does she not know

I'll give you a year-supply of cigarettes
If they make it past Labor Day
And I just saw the groom makin′ out with the bridesmaid
If she′s still got a ring by Halloween
I'll throw in a case of Crown
This Bless of Union is doomed to go down
Yeah, we′re all taking bets
While they're saying vows, vows

Maybe they′ll make it
But the stats say they won't
So they′ll say 'I do'
At least until they don′t

I′ll give you a year-supply of cigarettes
If they make it past Labor Day
And I just saw the groom makin' out with the bridesmaid
If she′s still got a ring by Halloween
I'll throw in a case of Crown
Well, even the preacher′s got a hundred on it now
Yeah, we're all taking bets
And I′m gonna win them cigarettes
We're all taking bets
While they're saying vows

Vows, vows, vows
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