Volpone; Or, The Fox (Act 5 Scene 5.8)

THE SCRUTINEO, OR SENATE-HOUSE.

AVOCATORI, BONARIO, CELIA, CORBACCIO, CORVINO,
COMMANDADORI, SAFFI, ETC., AS BEFORE.

1 AVOC
These things can ne'er be reconciled. He, here,
[SHEWING THE PAPERS.]
Professeth, that the gentleman was wrong'd,
And that the gentlewoman was brought thither,
Forced by her husband, and there left.

VOLT
Most true.

CEL
How ready is heaven to those that pray!

1 AVOC
But that
Volpone would have ravish'd her, he holds
Utterly false; knowing his impotence.

CORV
Grave fathers, he's possest; again, I say,
Possest: nay, if there be possession, and
Obsession, he has both.

3 AVOC
Here comes our officer.

[ENTER VOLPONE.]

VOLP
The parasite will straight be here, grave fathers.

4 AVOC
You might invent some other name, sir varlet.

3 AVOC
Did not the notary meet him?

VOLP
Not that I know.

4 AVOC
His coming will clear all.

2 AVOC
Yet, it is misty.

VOLT
May't please your fatherhoods—

VOLP
[whispers volt.]: Sir, the parasite
Will'd me to tell you, that his master lives;
That you are still the man; your hopes the same;
And this was only a jest—

VOLT
How?

VOLP
Sir, to try
If you were firm, and how you stood affected.

VOLT
Art sure he lives?

VOLP
Do I live, sir?

VOLT
O me!
I was too violent.

VOLP
Sir, you may redeem it,
They said, you were possest; fall down, and seem so:
I'll help to make it good.
[voltore falls.]
—God bless the man!—
Stop your wind hard, and swell: See, see, see, see!
He vomits crooked pins! his eyes are set,
Like a dead hare's hung in a poulter's shop!
His mouth's running away! Do you see, signior?
Now it is in his belly!

CORV
Ay, the devil!

VOLP
Now in his throat.

CORV
Ay, I perceive it plain.

VOLP
'Twill out, 'twill out! stand clear.
See, where it flies,
In shape of a blue toad, with a bat's wings!
Do you not see it, sir?

CORB
What? I think I do.

CORV
'Tis too manifest.

VOLP
Look! he comes to himself!

VOLT
Where am I?

VOLP
Take good heart, the worst is past, sir.
You are dispossest.

1 AVOC
What accident is this!

2 AVOC
Sudden, and full of wonder!

3 AVOC
If he were
Possest, as it appears, all this is nothing.

CORV
He has been often subject to these fits.

1 AVOC
Shew him that writing:—do you know it, sir?

VOLP
[WHISPERS VOLT.]: Deny it, sir, forswear it; know it not.

VOLT
Yes, I do know it well, it is my hand;
But all that it contains is false.

BON
O practice!

2 AVOC
What maze is this!

1 AVOC
Is he not guilty then,
Whom you there name the parasite?

VOLT
Grave fathers,
No more than his good patron, old Volpone.

4 AVOC
Why, he is dead.

VOLT
O no, my honour'd fathers,
He lives—

1 AVOC
How! lives?

VOLT
Lives.

2 AVOC
This is subtler yet!

3 AVOC
You said he was dead.

VOLT
Never.

3 AVOC
You said so.

CORV
I heard so.

4 AVOC
Here comes the gentleman; make him way.

[ENTER MOSCA.]

3 AVOC
A stool.

4 AVOC
[ASIDE.]: A proper man; and, were Volpone dead,
A fit match for my daughter.

3 AVOC
Give him way.

VOLP
[ASIDE TO MOSCA.]: Mosca, I was almost lost, the advocate
Had betrayed all; but now it is recovered;
All's on the hinge again—Say, I am living.

MOS
What busy knave is this!—Most reverend fathers,
I sooner had attended your grave pleasures,
But that my order for the funeral
Of my dear patron, did require me—

VOLP
[ASIDE.]: Mosca!

MOS
Whom I intend to bury like a gentleman.

VOLP
[ASIDE.]: Ay, quick, and cozen me of all.

2 AVOC
Still stranger!
More intricate!

1 AVOC
And come about again!

4 AVOC
[ASIDE.]: It is a match, my daughter is bestow'd.

MOS
[ASIDE TO VOLP.]: Will you give me half?

VOLP
First, I'll be hang'd.

MOS
I know,
Your voice is good, cry not so loud.

1 AVOC
Demand
The advocate.—Sir, did not you affirm,
Volpone was alive?

VOLP
Yes, and he is;
This gentleman told me so.
[ASIDE TO VOLP.]
—Thou shalt have half.—

MOS
Whose drunkard is this same? speak, some that know him:
I never saw his face.
[ASIDE TO VOLP.]
—I cannot now
Afford it you so cheap.

VOLP
No!

1 AVOC
What say you?

VOLT
The officer told me.

VOLP
I did, grave fathers,
And will maintain he lives, with mine own life.
And that this creature [POINTS TO MOSCA.] told me.
[ASIDE.]
—I was born,
With all good stars my enemies.

MOS
Most grave fathers,
If such an insolence as this must pass
Upon me, I am silent: 'twas not this
For which you sent, I hope.

2 AVOC
Take him away.

VOLP
Mosca!

3 AVOC
Let him be whipt.

VOLP
Wilt thou betray me?
Cozen me?

3 AVOC
And taught to bear himself
Toward a person of his rank.

4 AVOC
Away.

[THE OFFICERS SEIZE VOLPONE.]

MOS
I humbly thank your fatherhoods.

VOLP
[ASIDE.]: Soft, soft: Whipt!
And lose all that I have! If I confess,
It cannot be much more.

4 AVOC
Sir, are you married?

VOLP
They will be allied anon; I must be resolute:
The Fox shall here uncase.
[THROWS OFF HIS DISGUISE.]

MOS
Patron!

VOLP
Nay, now,
My ruins shall not come alone; your match
I'll hinder sure: my substance shall not glue you,
Nor screw you into a family.

MOS
Why, patron!

VOLP
I am Volpone, and this is my knave;
[POINTING TO MOSCA.]
This [TO VOLT.], his own knave; This [TO CORB.], avarice's fool;
This [TO CORV.], a chimera of wittol, fool, and knave:
And, reverend fathers, since we all can hope
Nought but a sentence, let's not now dispair it.
You hear me brief.

CORV
May it please your fatherhoods—

COM
Silence.

1 AVOC
The knot is now undone by miracle.

2 AVOC
Nothing can be more clear.

3 AVOC
Or can more prove
These innocent.

1 AVOC
Give them their liberty.

BON
Heaven could not long let such gross crimes be hid.

2 AVOC
If this be held the high-way to get riches,
May I be poor!

3 AVOC
This is not the gain, but torment.

1 AVOC
These possess wealth, as sick men possess fevers,
Which trulier may be said to possess them.

2 AVOC
Disrobe that parasite.

CORV, MOS
Most honour'd fathers!—

1 AVOC
Can you plead aught to stay the course of justice?
If you can, speak.

CORV, VOLT
We beg favour,

CEL
And mercy.

1 AVOC
You hurt your innocence, suing for the guilty.
Stand forth; and first the parasite: You appear
T'have been the chiefest minister, if not plotter,
In all these lewd impostures; and now, lastly,
Have with your impudence abused the court,
And habit of a gentleman of Venice,
Being a fellow of no birth or blood:
For which our sentence is, first, thou be whipt;
Then live perpetual prisoner in our gallies.

VOLT
I thank you for him.

MOS
Bane to thy wolvish nature!

1 AVOC
Deliver him to the saffi.
[MOSCA IS CARRIED OUT.]
—Thou, Volpone,
By blood and rank a gentleman, canst not fall
Under like censure; but our judgment on thee
Is, that thy substance all be straight confiscate
To the hospital of the Incurabili:
And, since the most was gotten by imposture,
By feigning lame, gout, palsy, and such diseases,
Thou art to lie in prison, cramp'd with irons,
Till thou be'st sick, and lame indeed.—Remove him.

[HE IS TAKEN FROM THE BAR.]

VOLP
This is call'd mortifying of a Fox.

1 AVOC
Thou, Voltore, to take away the scandal
Thou hast given all worthy men of thy profession,
Art banish'd from their fellowship, and our state.
Corbaccio!—bring him near—We here possess
Thy son of all thy state, and confine thee
To the monastery of San Spirito;
Where, since thou knewest not how to live well here,
Thou shalt be learn'd to die well.

CORB
Ah! what said he?

AND
You shall know anon, sir.

1 AVOC
Thou, Corvino, shalt
Be straight embark'd from thine own house, and row'd
Round about Venice, through the grand canale,
Wearing a cap, with fair long asses' ears,
Instead of horns; and so to mount, a paper
Pinn'd on thy breast, to the Berlina—

CORV
Yes,
And have mine eyes beat out with stinking fish,
Bruised fruit and rotten eggs—'Tis well. I am glad
I shall not see my shame yet.

1 AVOC
And to expiate
Thy wrongs done to thy wife, thou art to send her
Home to her father, with her dowry trebled:
And these are all your judgments.

ALL
Honour'd fathers.—

1 AVOC
Which may not be revoked. Now you begin,
When crimes are done, and past, and to be punish'd,
To think what your crimes are: away with them.
Let all that see these vices thus rewarded,
Take heart and love to study 'em! Mischiefs feed
Like beasts, till they be fat, and then they bleed.

[EXEUNT.]

[VOLPONE COMES FORWARD.]

VOLPONE
The seasoning of a play, is the applause.
Now, though the Fox be punish'd by the laws,
He yet doth hope, there is no suffering due,
For any fact which he hath done 'gainst you;
If there be, censure him; here he doubtful stands:
If not, fare jovially, and clap your hands.
[EXIT.]