Voicemail (Skit)

To listen to your message, press one. To manage your greetings, press — first saved message:
Yo dog, I swear to God, if I ever see you in the streets, I'ma show you how I do it, dog. Bring the cool bar to your face, fucking with my girl last night. I heard, dog. I heard you took her out there. You took her down to the places I don't ever wanna see her go. I know it, bruh. You touch my girl, bruh, I mufucking touch yo' life, dog. I will fucking come at you like a wild chimpanzee, slap you in the face, dog, I don't give a fuck. I'm all fucked up on this goose, dog. Smoking blunts 'til I die, curb-stompin' midgets
Make me wanna, fucking... get with it
Ya know what I'm saying? I could rap too, all day. You some, you think you some cool rapper, you could fuck everybody's girl, dog? That shit ain't true, my nigga. So, you know, I... yeah. Peace out, Pimpin'. How I turn this shit off my phone, shit
Next — message erased. Next message:
Yo homie, uh yeah, so um, heard you were chilling with my girl the other night. Uh, yeah, so uh, if you wanna give me a call back, you could tell me what that's all about because I heard that you stuck your dick inside of my fucking girl, so, you wanna talk, or you wanna, you wanna do your little — I know you're a rapper and all that shit, you got this music and all that shit, you think you can get any girl you want. Well bitch, you can't. That's my girl. She might've fucked you that night, but... you know who she's coming home to? Me. Yeah, I... man, fuck you
Message erased. Next message:
Oh, so you don't wanna answer my calls, right? I call one time, you don't answer. I call two times, you don't answer. This my third mufucking time, you don't wanna answer, bruh? Okay, alright, I see how it is. I really didn't wanna take it here, but I guess I'ma have to take it here. My girl, she left me last night, yeah. Yeah, she left me last night, she told me, she told me, "Yeah, I just don't, I don't think things are working out between me and you anymore, lover," and I said, "Fuck that shit! It's Caskey, isn't it?" And she denied that shit, but you know what, dog, I want answers. I want mufucking answers. I'ma, I'ma have to come check and — man, you, you really pissing me off! First of all, yo, I don't wanna come to yo' mufucking crib and, you know, embarrass you in front of ya moms and ya mufucking, ya dogs and shit. I don't even know who you got at your crib, but I ain't tryna embarrass you, man. So you need to call me back, 'cause I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of you avoiding my mufucking calls. Yeah, peace... pussy
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