Venting At 3 AM

[Verse]
Don't wanna be like all the rest of ya'll and do the same thang
You see this rap shit's all I've got's for a plan B
Hella bullshit in my life happened and I ain't planned it
Too many care about the money and the fucking status
Sometimes it pains me to see them plottin on my downfall
That's why I'm always ready to fight the way just like south paw
Caught up in the down pour
Wish I would go out more but i'd rather be at home alone and honestly its madness
Cause lately I've been feelin like a waste of days, so much time passin
Watchin family gettin older my heart fill in up with sadness
At the thought of losin'em but I know its a battle
I can wear these thought i have are darker than my shadow
But you see you think about too much about this shit it drives you crazy
Unfortunately this is the shit I think about daily
A couple more years for my grandmother I'm prayin
Cause since grandpa passed the energy been fadin
And I don't really vent like this as often as I should
They ask me if I'm alright I give a smile and say I'm good
But deep down I'm feeling hopeless yea I'm so misunderstood
Truth be told I would've armed myself ready if I could
I've been losing strength so I won't have none to expect
Lost a piece of me on the day I lost my best friend
And still at night I cry in silence even though its been a year
They can keep on talking all this shit I honestly don't care

[Chorus]
(do you know what its like to stare yourself in the mirror, living afraid awake at night is it like are you scared, never know when the reaper goin appear, wait until lifes granted damnit we unaware) (x2)