Vault Number 76

[Chorus: Singers]
Do you think that the world can ever be fixed?
Is America buried? Did it ever exist?
Were you hoping for a life of heavenly bliss
When you stepped out of Vault number 76?
Feels like we've waited forever for this
Dust off those chips and selection of dips
Rehydrate those ancient celery sticks
'Cus we're gonna have a party down in 76

[Verse 1: Optimist]
Today's a day for celebration
We've been locked away but we've been making preparations
Sweep away decay and all the waves of devastation
Now we're at the dawning of the day of reclamation
Preservation of the nation
Is a fate we've waited every day in dedication
To build a haven, pave the way for generations
Of what's left of Vault-Tec participation

Deep beneath the wastes of Virginia's
A place where we could have stayed safe for millennia
But tensions get frayed after just a few decades
So we're certain that the surface oughta be a little friendlier

Shine your shoes because the hour is at hand for
Joining hand in hand with fellow man to save the land, so
I packed some dandy apples in a satchel with some Blamco
Stepped out of gate to meet the neighbours and it's blammo!...

[Chorus, Singers]
Do you think that the world can ever be fixed?
Is America buried? Did it ever exist?
Were you hoping for a life of heavenly bliss
When you stepped out of Vault number 76?
Are you lost in awe? Well you'd better be quick
Build a hovel from the rubble while the reverie sticks
'Cus you've got to build a heaven using death as the bricks
If you want to have a life out of 76

[Verse 1, Singers]
I don't want to set the world on fire
But your house will do just fine
Got you thinking maybe now's a prudent time
Add some traps to send the rowdy mutants flying

[Optimist]
Now I'm an optimist
But was it a bad decision
To make a mission out of living in a vicious cataclysm?
Sitting in the wilderness and killing for provisions
A vault may have its faults but all the halls were airconditioned
Every dweller went from level headed fella to a villain
So forgive me if it's not what I envisioned
But with citizens selected out of brilliant civilians
I thought that some decorum whilst exploring was a given

[Spoken, Optimist]
Hi Joe! How you doing today?
I haven't seen you since the vault barbecue last May!
Alright! Awh, jeez! Okay!
You can keep the carcass, I'll be on my way!

[Verse 2, Singers]
So country road, take me home
To a place that won't irradiate my bones
Hear a silly little ditty with a playful tone
Transmitting from the middle of the danger zone

Country road take me there
To a pretty little crater in the open air
It's a bright new future so don't be scared
'Cus everything glows with a bright green glare

[Chorus, Singers]
Can the world ever be fixed?
Was America buried? Did it ever exist?
Were you hoping for a life of heavenly bliss?
When you stepped out of vault number 76

Is murdering suburbians getting your kicks?
Well we ask you to refrain 'till population is fixed
Rest assured that every resident was carefully picked
To be remembered as a member of 76

[Verse 3, Vault-Tec]
Vault-Tec reminds you
Your purpose on the surface
Is to work to survive through
Adversity by working with the persons beside you

[Joe]
Nah, I never liked you
I'm gonna craft some ammo and fight you

[Optimist]
There was a time I'd smile and pretend
That I liked all my friends
When society ends
Tell me, why the pretense?
Bring a violent end to that white picket fence

[Spoken, Survivor 2]
You missed my recital again!

[Survivor 3]
Now there's no keeping up with the Joneses
I've broken their noses
I've stolen their clothes and fed them to the roaches
That ought to show him
For mowing his lawn when I'm trying to focus
On my crosswords

[Survivor 4]
Cross words are through now
Domestic disputes now descend into shootouts
Truth is Dianne - I hate your Pecan Pie
This is for bringing one 'round to my luau!

[Singers]
Everyone's had that fantasy
To be the last of humanity
You might think it's rad to see
What'll grow from this rad disease
The Mutations are past belief

[Verse 4, Power Armor Survivor]
Who'd have thought these nuclear arms
Would give me literally nuclear arms

[Mutated Hand]
I hear ground zero has some loot we can farm
So what is the harm? If we drop another couple of bombs?

[Optimist]
Who'd have thought the horrors of war could be awesome?
When chalking them up against the boredom
Before things were torched and
We're forced to reform from assortments of morons
A quarter century's quarrels laid dormant

Pip-Boys and torches
Blood in the porches
Squash clubs and potlucks
And nuclear launches

Setting the Scorched on my mother-in-law is
More fun than anything before the war was!

[Singer]
From Boston down to the Mojave
You gotta get a hobby
Like slaying all your neighbors
And displaying all the bodies
So let's all go to the lobby
And get ourselves a treat