V.I.P.

I'm a very important person
I park in the V.I.P
And when I go to the bathroom
I go in the V.I.P. toilet
And when I wanna change a lightbulb
I don't do it myself, oh no
I have a technician 'cause I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P
I'm a V.I.P

Now, as I began to become a V.I.P
I forgot what I'd become a V.I.P. for
I began to grow accustomed to people saying
"Right this way, sir, drinks are on the house"
Flight attendants on airplanes saying
"Please, really, I don't wanna bother you, sir
But it's such a pleasure to have you here on board
May I have your autograph for my daughter?"
"Yeah baby, right after I go to the toilet
I'll give you a couple of 'em 'cause I'm a V.I.P!"

Now, one thing about V.I.P. is they never seem to be alone
The "true" V.I.P. must travel with an entourage
People who say "Right on, boss"
Cause it's a V.I.P!
Right on, boss
I'm a V.I.P!
As I began to realize that I had gained V.I.P status
Worries began to creep in
What if one day, I woke up and I was no longer a V.I.P?
No more good tables at the restaurants
No more strange women smiling
And approaching me on the streets
No more top-notch booty
No more entourage to say "Right, boss"
I began to have nightmares
And in my nightmares, I was just a fucking nobody
Laying at the beach, imagining myself being a VIP
Just like I was before
Hearing the applause in my head
Beautiful warm embraces of superior members of the female gender

VIP
VIP

Of course, when one becomes a V.I.P
Inevitably one meets other V.I.Ps at social occasions
And one inevitably thinks
"How shallow and crass these people are
They're not down to earth and real like me
Oooohhh no ! I'm a very special V.I.P."

Another interesting phenomenon associated with V.I.P celebrityhood is the "V.I.P reflection effect"
During which anyone associated with the V.I.P
Becomes a sort of V.I.P in their own right
Such as the "Son OF the V.I.P"
"Guitar player FOR the V.I.P"
"Girlfriend WITH the V.I.P"
"Accountants of the V.I.P"
The maid, the dog, the music publisher
All enjoy a sort of 'reflected glory', as in
"Hi this is Nastea, I work for Iggy
And I'd like six tables tonight in the V.I.P section
And he needs passes for everyone
And free drinks of course in the V.I.P area"
Right on, boss, 'cause i'm a V.I.P

It's also true that when one is a V.I.P
Everybody is happy to see you all the time
And there is an implicit rule
That a V.I.P. must never never be on a bummer
'Cause everybody expects you to make their day
And woe be on to you if you're in a bad mood
They will "thck!tchk!tchk ! murmur murmur mur!"
And you will find yourself with the wrong kind of attention
A "difficult" V.I.P
Psychologists tell us that a sense of self-esteem
Is so necessary in today's world
As a V.I.P., I can guarantee you, you'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
'Cause you're a V.I.P!