Urban Legends

[Verse 1]
Remember the girl with the beehive hairdo
Stung by a spider in a rat's nest igloo?
Hook man leaving his hook on the door
After giving that girlfriend's guy what for
Someone put a rat in the deep fry
Madman on the phone in the upstairs bedroom
Alligators down in the sewer lines
I had a tough time believing all that

[Chorus]
'Til I picked up
The vanishing hitchhiker
I picked up
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
He was an angel
I heard him say
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
"Stop telling lies"
Then he went away

[Verse 2]
Remember the dog in the microwave oven?
It was turned to high, now there's nothing left of him
"There's a hatchet killer hiding in your back seat, ma'am
And a rat tail floating in your Coca Cola can"
At midnight stood a stranger on the highway
Somewhere thereabouts, I think, in Corpus Christi
He smiled and said that he was going my way
No, I couldn't say that I believed in all that

[Chorus]
'Til I picked up
The vanishing hitchhiker
I picked up
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
He was an angel
I heard him say
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
"Stop telling lies"
Then he went away

[Verse 3]
I get my info from the backward masking
I get the Word of God through prayer and fasting
JFK is alive and well
And Kissinger is a beast from hell
The face of St. Paul in this butt roast
Assures me that I'm going up to heaven
The Antichrist does laundry on the East Coast
I doubted the most, did not believe in all that

[Chorus]
'Til I picked up
The vanishing hitchhiker
I picked up
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
He was an angel
I heard him say
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
"Stop telling lies"
Then he went away
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
He was an angel
I heard him say
(The vanishing hitchhiker)
"Stop telling lies"
Then he went away