Untitled

[Verse 1]
I was sitting at the edge of a cliff
A wind blew by and I lost momentum
And as I fell
I thought about all the people who I couldn't tell
"I love you"

[Verse 2]
And I started thinking about the people who I haven’t thanked yet
Everyone who has supported me
Everyone who’s been there for me
Everyone who has ever loved me
I wanted to tell Bridgette that her music’s worth making
I wanted to tell Cherry that she will find better love
I wanted to tell June I’m sorry for not being there
I wanted to tell all of you I wish I could have stayed

[Pre-Chorus]
Slowly
Slowly
Slowly I am sinking into a void
Slowly
Slowly I’ll be gone
And nobody will remember my name

[Chorus]
Breaking down
Moonlight shines bright
Body found
Will they even know?
Will they bury me as the right gender?
Will they say my deadname at my funeral?
Will they say
"Oh, Cecily, you had such a bright future ahead of you
But you were too fucked up and selfish to care!”

[Verse 3]
Sometimes, I wonder about what will happen after I die
I think about people's reactions
I wonder if they will take it well or not
I wonder if they expected it. I wonder if they'll go, "sad but saw it coming."
I think about how they'll remember me
Will they remember me as who I am?
What will be remembered of [REDACTED]?
How will people in the future think of my art, knowing the artist is dead?
Will more people care about them in death than in life?
Maybe I will simply go completely silent, my lovers and friends never knowing the full truth
Maybe people will say, “good riddance.”
Maybe they will be glad to know I’m gone
Maybe the people who I’ve hurt in the past will sigh in relief
Because if you add up all the pain I’ve caused in others, you will want to have me dead as well
I want to inflict pain on others so that they feel something ugly or beautiful
If that means hurting others, that’s what I would do
Can I ever hope to dictate how I will be remembered after death?
I hope they remember me
I hope they care
I hope I’m loved
I hope I’m hated
I hope I meant something
And I step away from the edge and regain momentum
The wind blows by and I think to myself
I don’t wanna die!