​unlucky lol

[Verse]
It's kinda hard to explain all the things I wanna say
So I'll say 'em all today, right now
I wish I had a reason to live right now
I'm just waiting and waiting but it will never come around
Just tell me what I did wrong
Promise I'm not still the same one
This is self love, [?] fall in love with another
But I disagree, I hate myself until you don't
I need someone else to let me know my worth
And I know that it sounds selfish but every day it gets worse
Yeah, I just wanna feel better, I wanna make you feel better
You deserve it more than me 'causе I'm a feel-catcher
And my stupid brain works in weird ways that I don't get
I don't gеt these social cues and I don't go to these events
So I don't make any friends, and I love them once I have but we never make any plans
When I finally meet someone and we make like hella plans
And then everyone gets bored of me
Everyone means more to me than I mean to them
Like, fuck, where did I go wrong?
Did I get some bad luck back when I was young?
And I'm losing time [?]
[?], yeah, I'll just be mad depressed in my room
Sitting all alone, talking to no one
Hiding all this hair inside a hat that I don't fucking want
If I don't show anyone this song, I'm talking to a wall
Someone send me hearts or send me love or send emoticons, yeah
I just need some reassurance to know I have a purpose
At this point, I just would shut myself inside a furnace
I'm not a happy person, I don't make you happy either
Wish I could be worth it, stop fucking lying in my ear
I can tell that at least I know when you're unhappy, I know when you're at ease
I'm not running from my dreams and I'm only mean to people who deserve it
[?] I want someone to like me
And I lose it all, and it's sad, I know
Now I wasted all this time and now I gotta go
And it's not even my fault, I was unlucky from the start
Yeah, I hate my fucking like, I want you to rip me apart