Unfortunate

[Spoken Intro: Cory]
Come one come all to the amazing "Teller of the FUTURE!"
Now, now, there is plenty of future to go around and tons to tell!

[Verse 1: Cory]
Monday!
You'll get sick, with an incurable disease
Tuesday!
Your disk will slip, corroding into nothing
Wednesday!
You'll get drunk, wakeup robbed of everything
Thursday!
You'll wake up late and be fired in the morning

[Pre Chorus 1]
Not trying to yank your chain
Not trying to pick your brain
Don't shoot the messenger, your fucked! I'm fucked!

Would like another outcome
Maybe more I could of done!
So repеat after me cuz

You're fuckеd
I'm fucked!

(Grab you're partner dosey doh around the corner here we go!)

[Chorus: Cory]
I’m from the future to tell you you're
(Finished, kaput!)
Bereft of life, and mortified
I wish I had better news
But I got
(zero zilch, notta, zip)
Squat!
Say goodbye to your loved
(adios, take care, bon voyage, farewell)
The reapers punching your time card
And you're out of time!

The end is nigh
And you're gonna

[Verse 2: Cory]
You're hired, as a guinea pig for minimum wage
Oh-oh-oh-oh Saturday!
You'll do a test that has some weird side effects
Woah-ho Sunday
Won't notice anything out of the ordinary
Woah Monday
You'll definitely start to feel like something's off again!

Little things like heighted smell, sweaty palm, secreting gel
Later you'll start spoutin' limbs and it'll fuckin' hurt like hell

After your legs fall off and you lose consciousness
You'll wake up bound and gagged in some dude’s dirty basement

And that sucks

[Pre Chorus 2: Cory]
And I
Told your ass is super fucked!
Ain't playin' man you outta luck!
Pray to whoever you see fit!
Or you can suck my clown-y (HONK)

[Chorus: Cory]
I'm from the future to tell you you're- How nice, goodbye!
Bred to life and mortified
I wish I had better news
But I got zero, zilch, nada, zip- Why?!

Say goodbye to your love
Adiós, take care, bon voyage, and farewell
The reaper's punching your time-card
And you're out of time

And you're
Gonna

[Carnival Break: Cory]
(Step on up, step on up, we got some amazing prizes!
We got a stuffed bear and can't go getcha things!
You fellas ready for a showdown?
Oh no, here we go we got a winner!)

[Bridge: Cory]
I'm from the future to tell you you're
(uh-hah)
I wish I had better news, but I got
SQUAT

[Chorus: Cory]
I'm from the future to tell you you're- How nice, goodbye!
Bred to life and mortified
I wish I had better news
But I got zero, zilch, nada, zip- Why?!

I'm from the future to tell you you're
Uh-hah
I wish I had better news, but I got
SQUAT