Udder Dust

Sometimes I think of how hardly alive you are at all
Dodging bullets. Dodging raindrops
December's here, and this rattling can
Of a group "home" (we call a home) can't stay warm
There are no colors. The world feels dusty
The thoughts that swim in & out make a traitor out of me
Suspend myself from the ceiling and watch us all live
I break and slip porcelain plates
Abandoned. Restrained. Clinking chain
Move to the same motions. I stare back at the clock
How do I convince you I'm living?
Creeping smile, dry lips close
I entertain thoughts that lull my mind
Just sitting here in my head (free reign for my brain)
This place is the fly that won't stop following me