Typically English

[EVIE]
My mother said I never should
Play with the young men in the wood
If I did, she would say
'Naughty little girl to disobey!'
Stop it!

I'm a typically English rosebud
Born of typically English stock
With a typically Anglo-Saxon family tree

[LITTLECHAP:]
You can tell, can't you?

[EVIE]
I received my education
In a typically English way
At a typically English girls' academy

[LITTLECHAP]
I went to Brixton Reformatory for Boys meself

[EVIE]
I play typically English tennis
At a typically English club
With a typically English feeling for fair play
I eat typically English crumpets
With my typically English tea
At the end of every typically English day

[LITTLECHAP]
That's funny! We only had fish and chips

[EVIE]
Father is a typically English colonel
Home is a typically English county town

[LITTLECHAP]
Somewhere near Swindon

[EVIE]
Mummy and I play typically English patience
While the typically English rain is pouring down

We've a typically English spaniel
Who likes typically English walks
Past the typically English trees upon the heath
And if anyone asks me how I like
This typically English life
I am fed up to my typically English teeth

[LITTLECHAP]
My mother said I never should
Play with the girlies in the wood
If I did, she would say
They'll only end up in the family way

[EVIE]
When I go to typically English dances
Mother gives me typically sound advice:
How to cope with typically coarse advances
But I'm bound to confess I find them rather nice!
Stay there

In the typically English summer
We take typically English trips
To a typically seaside place with Auntie Maude;
And if anyone asks me how I like
This typically English life
I have never been so - Pygmalion bored!

And if anyone asks me how I like
This typically English life
I have never been ...

[Chorus]
Here is a special announcement. There was an accident in a bedsitting-room off the Brompton Road late last night when a seventeen-year old girl was involved in a head-on collision with a twenty-five year old tea boy, and received injuries from which her typically English family may never recover. Will anyone who saw the
Accident, or can give any information, please keep it to themselves?

[EVIE]
When a typically English rosebud
Is in typically English bloom
And her typically English petals open wide
Then her typically English perfume
Reaches typically English bees
And what follows is really most undignified!

[LITTLECHAP]
My mother said I never should
Play with the girlies in the wood
If I did, she would say
They'll only end up in a most undignified
Somewhat magnified
Slightly stupefied
Maybe multiplied
Quite unqualified
None too sanctified
Highly satisfied way