Two Bagger

1. I met her up in Misula she owned her own pulp truck
She took me for a ride one night and told me we were stuck
She put her arms around me and said I'll keep you warm
I was so dumb and innocent I didn't see the harm
2. Then they started wrestling and he almost had her beat
He fought that big ol' beefalo till she pinned him to the seat
She made me drink a case of beer everything was a blur
When I work up this morning I was married to her

Chorus:
He's married to a logger who looks just like his dad
But his dad don't have a mustache and his feet don't smell as bad
Up here in the last frontier men are men it's true
But she makes Arnold Schwarzenegger look like Peggy Sue
3. I called up her dad to see if he would take her back
He laughed so hard I thought he'd have another heart attack
He said to find a paper bag to put upon her head
I grabbed a K-Mart shopping bag and went on back to bed
4. He tried to put the bag on her but it was way too small
She got him in a hammer lock and pinned him to the wall
How do you think I feel waking up to you
If I've got to wear a paper bag you better put on two

(Repeat chorus)