Twisted Fable #1 (Potato Chips)

Twisted Fable Number One...

A lot of people think that a person up in Oregon, Mr. Schnoot, invented the potato chip on a cold night during a very long winter when everything was down and all he had was potatoes

He ate nothing but potatoes for many weeks. And finally in desperation he cut them up to make a potato pie

But he was so disgusted at the look and the sight and the smell of potatoes that he put them in the oven and just said 'fuck bake the shit out of these things.'

A lot of people think that's how it went down, but it really wasn't. What really happened was that Lot, in the Bible, a prophet and wise man from Jericho and places beyond, went in search of work so he could help his family, to the place of Sodom and Gomorrah where he was gomorrahized and sodomized within an inch of his life

His wife Liora and his daughter Gefilte decided to leave the heinous cities of Sodom and Gomorrah

On the way out, Lot again was sodomized, and God came down and said 'If you want this to stop, Lot, you have to leave now. And none of you look back because I'm going to lay waste to the cities of Gomorrah and Sodom.' God said 'If you do not obey, and you look back and see what's going on, the death and destruction I'm going to waste upon Sodom and Gomorrah, ye and all ye, shall be turned into a pillar of salt.'

And when Lot heard that he took off running, and didn't look back till he got to Oregon. Liora? Well she and little Gefilte heard the screaming and being compassionate people looked back were turned into a block of salt

Lot came back. Covering his eyes, feeling his way down the path that he so strenuously ran away from. And he found them and instead of his wife and his daughter, there were two blocks of salt which he laboriously hoisted on each shoulder and like a hero that he was, he crawled, and marched, and walked, and clawed his way his way to Oregon where he started a potato farm, calling it Lots & Lots of Potato Chips

That was Twisted Fable Number One, and I hope you enjoyed it