’Twas the Night Before Christmas

[Verse]
It was the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a body was stirring
Did I say my house?
My stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In the hopes that my new man soon will be there
And my bro and his diddy and I andy my cat
I just settled down for a long winter's nap
When out of the lawn
There rose such a clatter
I said, Mm I hardly get to see what was the matter
But to my wandering eyes
What should appear
A silver and black Bentley
With a [?] man
Stepping lively and quick
I knew immediately
It was not St. Nick
And right through my front door
He was dressed in black diamond
From up to down
A bundle of gifts he had
What did I get?
As I squealed opening the package
The same old shit
I'm not ungrateful!
I shouted as he backed out of the front door
My sincerity he doubted
But I heard him exclaim
As he drove out of sight
Hey! You hell of a woman
I said, Shout it right!