TV Guide

[Ras Kass]
The world is a TV show, sometimes you need the TV Guide

[Verse 1]
As the World Turns, NBC Dateline (flat line!)
3rd Planet From the Sun
Millennium, Earth: Final Conflict
Bold and the Beautiful, Young and the Restless
Presides convicts
Hotlines from perverts and psychics
Live from Babylon 5
But Touched By An Angel
Seeking 7th Heaven, Another World
The Outer Limits in Deep Space 9
Massages by the Borg bitch 7 of 9
Intertwined but still stuck on Planet Groove
Smart Guy in The PJs living in Rap City BET
The ghetto is Spin City DC
Skip my AME Biography, honestly
Only the wisеr become Survivors
The X-Filеs among these reptiles
Strictly Pay-Per-View
But mostly they pretend to die
And never know the truth
Dark suit, it’s all pain
No real niggas is allowed to ride the Soul Train
Only if you’re popular, mayne
See, Everybody Love Raymond
He Caucasian, he own the plantations:
Fox, CBS, ABC
CNN, TNT, ESPN, MTV
Disney, AMC, the Bravo
FX, Nickelodeon, Showtime Max and HBO
He hate me doe (Why?)
Cos Malcolm & Eddie want to be Made Men
Not Sopranos, how do I know?
The ??? video and five-oh
NYPD Blue to NYPD: Life on the Beat
Law & Order is beating down blacks in the street
Mad About You, Just Shoot Me
The Practice Is guilty
Mills Lane, the People’s Court and Judge Judy killed me
Rush the ER, General Hospital but nope
No Medicare means-- no Chicago Hope
I Poltergeist, walking into a Guiding Light
Got 1 Life to Live and I don’t want to die tonight

[Chorus]
TV Guide, tell-a-lie-vision, TV lie
That’s the plan though, TV died
Watch television programs to program man
Remote control to your soul, turn the channel

[Verse 2]
America’s Funniest Home Videos, really doe
Fuck with the Anti Defamation League
They cancelled Arsenio
Sue me, I’m the ????
My black cuties with fat booties
??????????????? silicone double Ds
On the cover of WBs—white bitches
Ain’t got no ass, plus they wrinkle too fast
Spin the Wheel of Fortune
Niggas always be in Jeopardy
America’s Most Wanted ?????? chase
Not Donnie and Marie
There’s no Kathie Lee
I’d rather be Howard Stern
Fuck Jenny Jones Makeover
Oprah Winfrey got the perm
But Michael Williams only date white bitches
So Robin Given got to forgive and forget
Or get on Springer and fight bitches
Plus niggas don’t give a fuck
And Murder kick you off the Real World like Puck
It’s a Comic View, Jay Leno, Letterman replying
Conan O’Brien, News At 10 steady lying
Confused bitches on Love Line trying
Dinner and a movie, ?????, chicken wings frying
A E! True Hollywood Story
With bad Spelling like Tori
A Party of Five is always worried
I’m crabby, sister’s gabby, Mom’s aggie cause Daddy
Thought Home Improvement
Was grabbing the nanny fanny (That’s ill!)
I just want to be King of the Hill, lovey-dovey
With All My Children watching Teletubbies

[Chorus]
TV Guide, tell-a-lie-vision, TV lie
But that’s the plan though, TV died
Watch television programs to program man
Remote control to your soul, turn the channel

[Verse 3]
Friends play Blind Date
Trying to make a Love Connection
Then the Newlywed came
But mad niggas be depressed and
When they’re Married With Children
Unhappily ever after
Having a Change of Heart
Find out Bill Clinton was waxing her (with cigars!)
Guess I was Saved By The Bell
At USA High blunted with aliens at Roswell
Uh, Sex In the City is shit
The censors got Duck Tales
Just gossip about chicks
Ally McBeal, she anorexic, have you seen her?
Heard she date niggas, fucked the biology teacher
Christina get in between her, behind the bleachers
Misdemeanour introduced my Young Hercules
To a Xena vagina
Moesha, she a junior, you can be a minor
But rumour is Felicity got the ill nana
Not even nearer to Tia and Tamera
Sister Sister share a twin bed with ceiling mirrors
Hysteria, cos young blacks is Animaniacs
In South Park sipping Remy killing many a Kenny
Give me an any cause we all act friendly
Some Seinfeld players, some gayer than ???????
Closed-caption to the player hater, nigga
Strung by Alyssa Milano and Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Baywatch on Sunset Beach
Beverly Hills 90210
No real place to go since ????
That’s all in just one week, must-see TV
Still Telemundo if it’s Spanish you speak
Cost a dollar ninety-nine plus tax
TV guidance plus science and actual facts
Now picture that

[Man]
Why? The media is a source of titillation
More than information
The mission of the media is to induce comfort
And primarily... to SELL
The media paints false pictures
Of the nation and the world
Tech designed to serve corporate masters
And to make America look good
This feel-good media approach
Serves the American delusion of white supremacy
But it does not ???????????
The major media like its racist projections
Is to be rejected, not consumed
For your very belief is at risk

[Ras Kass]
Turn the channel