Trying to Impress the Bargirl

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get
I can't believe that no one's thought of this before
This is a fool-proof plan
I'm sure I'm the man of her dreams
The drunker I get
The more impressed she seems
(It's the perfect plan!)

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get
My friends who left, I guess they didn't want to cramp my style
She keeps a professional distance
But I know what she truly thinks
If she didn't want me
Why would she keep bringing drinks?
(It's the perfect plan!)

(It's the perfect plan!)
So I asked her when does she get off and she answers where do I get off
(It's the perfect plan!)
And I said that's funny
(It's the perfect plan!)
The bouncers watch me intently, I suppose they're just jealous of me
(It's the perfect plan!)
Because I'm so funny

She's going a little bit blurry
Something is coming towards me
I think I'm about to be kissed...

No that's just a fist