Trade Mark

You've got a welfare meeting
Which lasts from 3 to 10
The topic of the conversation, as usual
Was the scarcity of men
Now, Mary Brown had several
While others had none
But asked to tell in plain words
Just how this was done, so she said

You gotta have a trademark
A different kind of brand
You gotta have a classy label
Wrapped around the can
You gotta pass out samples
You got to give a prize
And place it on the billboard for readers
'Cause it pays to advertise

It's got to be as standard as the oil
And as popular as the porn
'Cause if you have what the public wants
They'll pay your room and board
Then two, you've gotta give 'em service
'Cause that's mighty essential too
Just have somethin' good, don't worry, it's understood
Success will come rollin' home to you

You got to have everything the public wants
Every known make and brand
Direction in plain English and paste it 'cross the can

Credit leads to bankrupt, brother, so that don't appeal to me
Charge accounts to no one 'cause I'm strictly C.O.D

Oh, I'm fair with all my customers and I'm honest with my scale
Course I'm kinda particular about my measurements but I never ring no sale

Don't worry, I got ice for them that's hot, pepper for them that's cold
Ketchup for them that's far behind and youth for them that's old
So you see I've got a trademark, 'cause that's essential too
In fact, just have something good, it's fairly understood
Bucks will come rolling home to ya