Tow Truck Driver

Patrick Schriver was a tow truck driver
Loved to tow any car he could find
I never minded till I discovered
That the car he had towed was mine!

I never would have guessed it
I knew where I left it
For I parked it on my own front lawn
I just could not believe it
And I barely could conceive it
'Cause the car where I had parked it was gone

The problem was titanic
I did begin to panic
I was searching high and low and all around
Then my neighbor Janet Curry
Told me not to worry
And she offered me some tea to settle down
I called the police station with fury and frustration
I demanded that my vehicle be found
The officer was Haitian
He was laughing with elation
And he said I'd find my auto in the pound

Patrick Schriver was a tow truck driver
Towed at least thirty cars a day
I tracked him down, pulled out my 44
I blew his ass away

Patrick Schriver was a tow truck driver
But today he lies beneath the dirt
If only he had known to leave my car alone
He never would have gotten hurt

He showed no sign of pity
And he towed cars through the city
And he always had a smirk on his face
Sadistically indeed, he fulfilled an inner need
And someone had to put him in his place