To The Future

Ay, yo'. I admit to you
Moms raised me alone without a dude so I got some issues
I could say 'I do'
But before I do you should know some things that I have been through
Pops was not a nice dude
He tried to kill my mother this one time. I was still in the womb
So does that make me the fool?
Cause when I call him up now and then and say “I love you”, it's true
I left home at 15
I was dating this dude nine years old. It wasn't as weird as it seems
Cause he treated me better than I had ever been
And to this day that fact's still the same
The same year I was assaulted with a gun
These dudes locked me in a room, molested me for fun
I swear I would scream, or I'd run
If I told my pops, they're done, but I thought of their mothers with dead sons
And that's empathy. I wish I was cold
Cause if I was I could have stripped for a dollar, but I couldn't risk my soul
So I didn't. I left school, came back, finished
And went to college and graduated with honours, but get this:
Memories my mind conveniently erases
Strange homes, alone. Got touched in strange places
That's why I freak out when you touch me
And I'm screaming. I don't know it's you; it's just my past evil demons
And they're plenty. They haunt me all the time
I ain't ready for love. I never knew who he was or when he met me
So I looked for him in all the wrong faces
Got used by more than one dude. In fact, most of them were faking
So when you talk about making a life
I think about it too. I killed already. It's too late for me, right?
Yeah, yo you could make me your wife
But why would you want to? I got problems, so go on, go on, go on...