To Catch a Predator

[Intro]
*laughter*

[Verse 1: Violent J]
I'm on the internet, posing as a little girl
I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world
I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only twelve
Mom and Dad are gone for the day; I'm by myself
Buckets of throw up are next to my computer
Hopin' that they show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to them
Would make the Devil sick: I sharpen my blade
Frontin' to this perv like I'm only in the seventh grade
The doorbell rings, I gotta get them inside
In my best little girl's voice, I'm like, "Hi!
Come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!"
And when the door shuts, that's when I let them see me
"Hi there." (Haha) I stab him in the neck first
'Cause it hurts. Hit him where the blood squirts
Carve his whole face off and make him eat it
Chain him up by the foot in my basement, bleeding

[Chorus]
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma learn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
And it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma earn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)

[Verse 2: Violent J]
Soon enough, Feds will be shutting down my service
'Cause people out there think they don't deserve this
Until it's your kid an old man is finger fucking
Titty sucking, then you'll want the knife stuck in
I don't blame you, that's why I catch them in advance
While his dick is still in his pants, they never get the chance
I tell them I'm alone and I'm only thirteen
Looking for a good time. Ya know what I mean?
"Bring me some Funyuns, and a Slurpee
Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes."
And within twenty minutes, here comes a fucking doctor
Knocking on my door, a pedophile butt knocker
"Come in! Have a seat!" and then I stroll in
With the all-purpose hunting blade straight up his colon (Ahh!)
I cut his hands off, he ain't touching nobody
Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody

"Pla- pla- please Mr. Clown, sir, you don't have to do this!"
"Zip it!"
"Please! I got money! We ca-"
"Shut it, fucker!"
"Please! We can work this out!"
"Silence I say!"

Stick him next to this other fool; both left for dead
Every time I walk by 'em, I punch them in the head
Cut they fucking dicks off, stick 'em in each other's mouths
"Now what y'all talkin' about!?"

[Chorus]
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma earn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
And it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma earn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)

[Bridge]
"What's in the bag?"
"Funyuns and condoms"
"What's in the bag?"
"Funyuns and condoms"
"What's in the bag?"
"Funyuns and condoms"
"Why did you bring condoms?"
"I didn't mean to"

[Verse 3: Violent J]
The house is getting funky, bodies in the basement, stinking
What the fuck am I thinking?
I put my face paint on, go downstairs
And beat they ass sometimes, 'cause it ease my mind
Some of them are dead, some are still living
But I'ma hurt them every chance that I'm given
I hit em with the nail gun or the stun gun
They can't run! So, they both mad fun
I was sawing a head off when I heard the doorbell
I'm not expecting any predators, but oh well!
I took my spot. "Come in! I'll be right there!"
But I left a head sitting on the living room chair!
He seen it and ran! I had to give chase!
We cut across the lawn with my knife swinging for his face!
I threw it, it stuck him in the back of the neck
Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck

"Ahhhh! Somebody! Anybody!"
"Zip it!"
"Stop! Please!"
"Shut it the fuck up!"
"Ahhhhhh!"
"People are looking! Silence!"

A bus full of high school kids watched it happen
He kept screaming like a pansy, despite my slapping
Plus, the neighbors seen it, and so did the mailman
But they all never said nothing bout it again

[Chorus]
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma earn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
And it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I'm probably gonna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'ma earn
But it sure is fun (To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator)

[Outro]
"Yo! Liz!"
"Meanwhile, back at the house."
"Hey! Come on in! What kind of alcohol did you bring?'
"I brought Absolute Citron, I brought Mandarin Orange, I brought a shot of Jägermeister"
"Wow!"
"In several cases, the men were asked to bring food, alcohol, and condoms. Law enforcement says this helps show an intent to solicit a minor. What do we got here?"
"A bag of Funyuns"
"Funyuns? What about condoms? Did you bring condoms?"
"I did."
"You did?"