To Be Honest

[Chorus: T.Rabb] x2
When I went crazy
No one loved me but my momma
To be honest with you
Been seeing demons
Chasing ghosts, sleeping seldom
To be honest with you
When I went crazy
No one loved me but my father
To be honest with you
Even if we're walking blind
There was no man left behind
To be honest with you

[Verse 1: T.Rabb]
I tried to tell my story many ways
Was taught to posture strong and not reveal the pain
Was living foul but I couldn't change
Now even through the summer I can smell the rain
Sometimes you gotta find the strength within
Can't even depend on friends, I couldn't pretend
But some realer than most
Some diving off the boat
Some keep it a float
Those the ones I'm pulling in close
And I was dealing with some issues that I didn't even know
I understand
Don't leave me now, take my hand
No way I win this battle alone
I need a plan
To make it back to my body
Such an insidious experience
I'm trapped in the lobby
Know I'm confusing you probably
But that's the best way to describe what I was feeling inside me

[Chorus: T.Rabb] x2
When I went crazy
No one loved me but my momma
To be honest with you
Been seeing demons
Chasing ghosts, sleeping seldom
To be honest with you
When I went crazy
No one loved me but my father
To be honest with you
Even if we're walking blind
There was no man left behind
To be honest with you

[Verse 2: T.Rabb]
I remember like it was yesterday
Even through the madness, I could hear you pray
In a language that would permeate
And I know to this day it was your words that kept my spirt safe
Pacing door to door on hospital floors
Doctors signing papers to keep me for more
Face full of tears
Can't cover my sores
It felt like I was dying, my faith was destroyed
Momma, do you recognize me still
Tattoos on my face
My psychosis made me ill
Manic losing weight
Lost my hunger, skipping meals
Even quit my job
'Cause in my mind I had a 'mil
Lost my crib
I was to sick to work
Lost my homies
'Cause I was trippin worse
Lost my music
Thought my gifts were gone
Lost my mind
I paced the streets alone
This for every one that held me down
I ain't forget just 'cause I'm better now
All who helped me put those days behind
I know it's real 'cause you never remind me
This for those that have to walk in rain
That every single morning have to conquer pain
Strength isn't bearing the weight by yourself
Strength is admitting you need the help