To Be A Princess

[JULIAN, spoken]
It's all here in the Princess's Book of Etiquette. Let's begin. No nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping, slurping, burping, twittering or frittering allowed. Stay present, stay pleasant, stay proud

(sung)
To be a princess is to know which spoon to use
To be a princess is a thousand pairs of shoes
To maintain a regal gait
Leave the parsley on your plate
And be charming but detached and yet amused
To be a princess is to never be confused
Do a plié and never fall
Don't ever stray from protocol
All through the day, there's just one way you must behave
Do keep a grip and never crack
Stiff upper lip and arch the back
Bend from above and always wear your gloves and wave
Shoulders back and
Tummy in and
Pinky out and
Lift the chin and
Slowly turn the head from side to side

[ERIKA]
I see now

[JULIAN]
Breathing gently
Stepping lightly
Smile brightly
Nod politely
Never show a thing you feel inside
Glide!
To be a princess is to always look your best
To be a princess is to never get to rest
Sit for a portrait, never squirm
Sleep on a mattress extra firm
Speak and be clever, never at a loss for words
Curtsy to every count and lord
Learn how to play the harpsichord
Sing lullabies and always harmonize in thirds

[JULIAN & ERIKA]
Thirds, thirds

[JULIAN]
And she has beautiful eyes
Your spirits rise
When she walks in the room

[ERIKA, spoken]
I see

[JULIAN]
Doors close
And the chemistry grows
She's like a rose
That's forever in bloom
Do a plié and don't

[ERIKA]
Ever, ever, ever fall

[JULIAN]
Never show dismay

[ERIKA]
And be there when people call

[JULIAN]
Be prepared whatever royal life will bring
Do keep a grip and don't

[ERIKA]
Ever, ever, ever crack

[JULIAN]
Take a dainty sip

[ERIKA]
Never ever turn your back

[JULIAN]
There's a time and place and way for everything
To be a princess is to never make your bed
To be a princess is to always use your head