Timmis

*Spoken*
I was thrilled to be a man
I was elated
Except for one thing
I went to work for the scientific research community
Up to that point, I'd always been called "Timmy"

But there was this one dude there:
Cossett Sr.
He always called me by my real name

(Cossett)
"Hey Timmis"

(Timmy)
"Ugh dude can we just not do this today?"

(C)
"I need the ammonia oxide, Timmis"

(T)
"It's Timmy, Cossett! How many times do I have to tell you, Timmy, please!"

(C)
"That's not what it says on your nametag, Timmis."

(T)
"Yeah, I understand, yes, my legal name is Timmis but I would really appreciate if you called me Timmy."

(C)
"Oh, your name's Timmy 'cause you're a little boy! Why don't you grow up and go by your real name, Timmis."

(T)
"Shut the fuck up, Cossett."

(C)
"Hold on let me- let me peer review that name tag. Oh, it looks like Timmis!"

(T)
"Stop it dude."

(C)
"Why don't you come calibrate this barometer for me, Timmis?'

(T)
"We don't even use barometers in here, this is like a chemical reaction lab, what are you talking about?"

(C)
"The only chemical reaction going on in this lab is you getting mad about your own name."

(T)
"Dude, I'm not mad I'm just asking you please don-"

(C)
"Bring it over here, Timmis."

(T)
"Dude please just sto-"

(C)
I'm not gonna call you Timmy, Timmis. That's for little- *laughs* Timmy's for little boys. Your name's Timmis. Timmis, we need the nitrate, now

Oh oh, oh I meant to say Timmy! Timmy, bring me the- oh your name's Timmy cause you're a little boy!

Timmis (x a lot)
*/S*

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally (Timmis!)
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me (Oh, Timmis!)
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

(-Oxide - that's for little- that's for little boys, Timmis - Nitrate
- oxide - Timmis (more times))

WHY DOES EVERYBODY ALWAYS CALL ME THAT?!
-CALL ME THAT?!

*Spoken*
So I did the only thing I could (So I did the only thing I could)
I quit my job (I quit my job)
Faked my death (Faked my death)
Started a new life (Started a new life)

In Schenectady, New York (In Schenectady, New York)
As a music journalist (As a music journalist)
But even in that gig (But even in that gig)
I couldn't go by Timmy (I couldn't go by Timmy)

I had to be Tim (I had to be Tim)

Tim Schenectady (Tim Schenectady)
*/S*

'Cause I've been bullied (bullied)
Too many times
And now I'm (now I'm) gonna lose my mind
Because (because) you all fucked me up

Bullied (bullied)
Too many times
And now I'm (now I'm) gonna lose my mind
Because (because) you all fucked me up

*Spoken*
Wow, I'm actually just realizing
I'm actually just realizing I'm really mentally affected by all this
I think all these memories- they're- they're making me really bitter
All these experiences
And I've just been giving all these artists terrible reviews
What have I been doing with my life?
Thomas, T- listen!
From now on, every album, every album we do gets a hundred, across the board
This is- This is not gonna be an- be another one of those negative-case making sites
This is going to be a place for positive thinking
People who love music are gonna flock to this; every album gets a perfect score
From now on this is a new era of music journalism
Every album is gonna be a number one fucking hit
Because of us, us, us, us, us, us, us