Throughitall

First day of elementary school and I don't see anyone that looks like me
Little blonde boys and little blonde girls look at me, confusion's the only degree
Only Asian kid in the whole first grade, I'm only half but what difference does it make
Hair, still different, eyes, still different, skin, still different, race, still different, and
Different, is not something that you wanna be
When you're six years old and you have no friends
They don't understand, nobody understands
Things kinda suck, just get through
August, September, October, November
December, now I'm half way, still don't wanna go every single day, no
Gonna, have to take me
Kicking and screaming, kicking and screaming
Why do I have to, why do I have to
What is the meaning, what is the meaning

Things got better by the time second grade rolled around
I had a few friends didn't get so down
But still some people were racist, they laugh behind my back, grins on their faces
Fuck those mother fucking kids, stupid lil freaks
Stretching their eyes, bucking their teeth
I'd play along just try to be cool, acting like some little white boy's fool
That shit, buried it deep, led to some issues that still fuck with me
First, anxiety, then there's depression, manifest aggression, aimed at myself
Fifth grade's over, they moved me up, to middle school and people still suck
Starting some therapy, hope it can help, hope I don't put my head in my own belt
Whole mess of issues I need to untangle anxiety runs me I can't keep it wrangled
Eighth grade graduate on to high school, hope I can turn it around

Very dark day, having suicidal thoughts, I'm not
Ready, I will, never change, I just, want to, rearrange
Dad is always sick, bad heart I inherit
Don't even think about that, fuck an anxiety attack
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out
Breathe in, breath out, breathe in, breathe out

Seven years later, 2021, how am I doing, I'm really doing fine
I still got some problems I can't really solve
But you cannot fix everything just gain resolve
Still got anxiety, but I can manage
Shout out my therapist, help sort the damage
Nobody's happy all twenty-four-seven just try to appreciate all that you have
It's good to be different at least you're not lame, people get jealous express it as hate
Find real friends that will not fuck you over, don't act like someone else don't be a poser
Everything I went through made me who I am, people don't like me I don't give a damn
They're missing out that's not on me, they're just lame that's not on me
When I look back, it wasn't really too bad, had to work through some shit
But, it made me stronger, sit back, and watch me prosper
Made it through it all