Three Little Pigs

(Spoken)
Why don't you, sit right back
And I, I may tell you, a tale
A tale of three, little pigs
And a big, bad, wolfff

Well the first little piggy, well he was kinda hip
He spent most of his days, just a dreamin of the city
And then one day, he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood, to become a star
But, living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city
Built his house out of straw, what a pity
And then one day, jammin on some chords
Along came the wolf, knocking on his door

[Chorus:]
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!!
Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin!!
Well I'm huffin, I'm puffin, I'll blow your house in
Huffin, puffin, blow your house in
Huffin, puffin, blow your house in
Huffin and a puffin and I'll blow your house in!!!

Well the second little piggy, well he was kinda stoked
He spent most of his time just a ganga smokin
Huffin and a puffin down on Venice Beach
Getting paid money for religious speech
He built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was cranking out Bob Marley
And along came the Wolf on his big bad Harley

[Chorus:]
Well the third little piggy, the grade A student
His daddy was a rock star, named Pig Nugent
Earned his Masters Degree, from Harvard College
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom, paid for the bills
And then one day came the old house smasher
The big bad wolf the little piggy slasher

[Chorus:]
Well the big bad Wolf
Well he huffed, and he puffed, all that he could
And low and behold the little piggy's house stood
"IT'S MADE OUT OF CONCRETE!" the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned, as he pouted
So they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would
The sent out Rambo, just as fast, as they could

(Rambo)
"YO, WOLF-FACE, I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE, YOUR ASS IS MINE!!!"

(gunshots)

Well the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
So that's to end the story, for you and me
If you still give a listen, you just may, here a big wolf or little piggy
Say

(Chorus [a little different])
"And the moral of the story is, 'A band with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show.'"