Though I Wish I Could

Now the C Major, B Flat Major makes a Lydian, it's not the mode I often end up in
I think it's because there's no open chord for the second one
Which is not uncommon but, those things are hard to play
With the three fingers on the same fret and and the high E string still barred

But tonight I think I can because I'm sick of making my process the subject of my song
And it's making me feel bored and unquestionably boring
And now that I've seen myself for what I am
I cannot go back to the field and flourish
And now that I have seen myself to be the phony that I am
I can not go back and change, become naive and innocent again
And now that I have seen myself to be the loser that I am
I cannot go back and change to be cool again, though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
I wish I could, I wish I could

And now that I have known the game that I've been playing this whole time
It makes me sick to my stomach to think what a self-righteous pawn
I've been in other's games for guiding me to my destination
And making myself live in my only, lonely selfish one

And now that I have seen your face wondering what I've done
Wondering how I got this way and why I don't give one
Fuck about anyone else, it makes me feel bad for myself
Makes me continue the cycle one more time
'Til I can't get out of it
And let them see that I'm blind
When you look at me now
You may see that I'm blind, I broke my vow
But to be honest, sometimes it seems like I never seriously make one

Though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
Yeah I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could
Though I wish I could, I wish I could
Though I wish I could