This song is a comic interpretation of Brad J. Lamb, a figure in the Canadian real estate business (who used to live in the same building as Owen Pallett’s boyfriend), with allusions to elements of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game (specifically the Conjuration school of magic).
Lamb him...
No hope for the village, no hope for the village
A merchant’s in our midst and with a barrel fist
He’s coloured every surface, he’s slapped up a portrait
And yes, it is his own! He’s gonna take your home!
Have you seen our visitor? Look! Over the treetops!
Newly conjured erections are making him a killing
And Richmond St. is illing, so the graduates are willing
To buy in to the pillage, now there’s no hope for the village
Prisoners, be silent, be silent and be sharp
When he was a young man, he conjured up a firemare
Burnt off both his eyebrows and half a head of hair
And then as an apprentice, he took a drowish mistress
Who bestowed upon his youthfulness a sense of champagne chic
His seduction, his seduction to the world of construction
Now his mind will start to wander when he’s not at his computer
And his massive genitals refuse to cooperate
No amount of therapy can hope to save his marriage
Prisoners, be silent, be silent and be sharp
Can you hear them talking? Listen through the wall:
[Background]
“Nothing to do, nothing to do
Living rent-free is boring me
Got no use for my PE Degree
Got no use for my pedigree
Hedi Slimane
And agnès b
I’m not content
I’m not content
Donna Karan
And Kara Saun
I’m not content
I’m not content"
[Foreground]
I feed you every morning and ask so little
But you belittle all the work, all the work that I do
When you take that walk without permission
I’m not defensive, I’m just saying this cause I love you
You know I hate it when your friends are in the pool
Old money stinks, send those faggots back to Forest Hill
Contentment? What contentment? I am bald and impotent
Is that what it’s about? Oh honey, honey, shut your mouth”
This Lamb Sells Condos was written by Owen Pallett.