This Is Why I Don’t Party

[Verse 1:MC Hammersmith]
Got a small cock and anxiety
Shall we party, yes quietly[party time]
Connor's turning thirty
Plan to leave quickly
Because I'm up early
But my work colleagues unanimously shriek
They wanna cheer me up 'cause I was dumped last week
Roll up to the club and the temperature is melting
Earplugs in because the music's overwhelming
Muster up the courage to redeem my mental health
Walk up to a girl she says ''Go fuck yourself!''
So I down five shots, text my ex ''You wanna pound?''
But I've accidentally textеd my therapist, another round of
Shots for my colleaguеs, buying up the bar
Rum, rum, rum like a really old car
Get the thought that everyone wishes I was dead
So I run into the bathroom and scream in my head:
''Everything is fine, stop being so depressed''
Then my therapist texts me, it's his address
So I take my phone and I flush it down the toilet
Then I take my head and I flush it down the toilet
Wish I could take my life and just flush it down the toilet
Then I realise I'm in the ladies, ''Go fuck yourself''
Stumble outside reeking of Bacardi
Crying as I scream ''THIS IS WHY I DON'T PARTY!''
Try to get an Uber, haven't got a phone
Vomit in my hands, and shit myself on the bus home
[Party time]