This Conditioned Lie

Another night I'm drinking
I search my soul again
But I'm afraid I'm thinking there might not be any left

I pull the pins and needles from underneath my skin
This silence taunts my ego
Is it wrong if I forget?

How it tasted
On my lips
And how I wasted
So much time on this lie

'Cause I don't want to be broken
And I don't want to feel numb inside
Still wondering how we spent so much time on this lie
We've had our eyes shut open
But now we've got to just say goodbye
Still wondering how we spent so much time on this lie

I'm facing down these demons
And I can't let them in
They feed on my depression
Will I soon be one of them?
But even if they take me
It wouldn't be as bad
As when you left me shaking
Now I fear I can't forget

How you tasted
On my lips
And how I wasted
So much time on this lie

'Cause I don't want to be broken
And I don't want to feel numb inside
Still wondering how we spent so much time on this lie
We've had our eyes shut open
But now we've got to just say goodbye
Still wondering how we spent so much time on this lie

Two liars stuck
In a star-crossed gaze
An empty shame
Tragic
We would have rather died to save our faces